Greetings friends! (And enemies. And random brainwashed strangers who have just stumbled upon this post and have no idea what is going on.)
As you may have noticed JULY IS GONE.
No one knows where. But wherever it is, I’ve been told that it won’t be coming back until next year. Not sure if my sources are reliable or not, but we’ll see what happens.
July was a bit of a crazy month due to work, Camp Nanowrimo, and the sun trying to melt my face off. (It didn’t succeed, in case any of you were concerned.
July… wasn’t the best book for months. There were a few that I liked pretty well. A few that were “meh”. And a few that caused me physical pain.
Ah, well. It’s not like I’m mortal and only have a certain number of years to read all the books I want to read before I die.
The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy
The writing was a little juvenile (…because I got it from the juvenile section of the library), but there were a lot of things I liked about it. A lot of the humor was random and odd and reminded me of the writing of one of my closest friends. And Fredric took eight years of yodeling lessons and my love for Duncan knows no bounds.
Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman
This book is quite short. I read it in about an hour. Odd is a bit of an outcast and he smiles all the time, even when there’s no reason to smile. Even when there is a reason NOT to smile. He smiles anyway and it drives everyone crazy. I have fond feelings for him.
The story centers around Norse mythology- gods of Asgard and all that. (But Loki is a redhead. Whaaat.)
Golden Boys by Sonya Harnett
Oh look. One of the most depressing books I’ve ever read.
In which there is abuse which no one wants to address and children feel like they have to sacrifice themselves to atone for their parents actions.
I can read books that deal with dark, heavy subject matter, but I want their to be some kind of resolution. This book ends (*SPOILERS*) with a kid saying “I’m sorry my dad is a creep. You can beat me up if it makes you feel better.” And the other kid beats him to a bloody pulp and leaves him there. The end.
So, after reading Golden Boys I was traumatized and needed to read more children’s books because apparently I can’t handle being an adult yet, and thus came…
The Fog Diver by Joel Ross
I laughed SO MUCH. At stuff that was not supposed to be funny. The writing was just… not my favorite. The main character kept making really strong statements about what a coward he was, but you didn’t really ever see him being a coward. And he was SO ASHAMED of his “freak-eye” and so TERRIFIED of anyone seeing it but…I just couldn’t take him seriously.
Brilliant by Roddy Doyle
Not the most riveting, but it had its moments. And it was set in Dublin, which is lovely.
…And there was a boy who became a vampire because his mother said he needed to get a job. So that was… interesting.
The Twelve-Fingered Boy by John Hornor Jacobs
I don’t know. I read it because I like super-hero type books, but I found it somewhat bland.
AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ENDING?? *SPOILERS*
The book ends with the main character feeling quite content and at peace. Which is all fine and good except DIDN’T YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO IS LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND WHO YOU’VE SPENT THE ENTIRE BOOK TRYING TO PROTECT JUST GET CAPTURED BY THE SUPER-EVIL BAD GUY??
But you’re just feeling happy and content with your life. Good for you.
The Fourteenth Goldfish by Jennifer L. Holm
The secret to eternal youth is jellyfish, people.
In which the main character’s grandfather finds said jellyfish and spends the length of the book as a thirteen year-old boy. With a 76 year-old brain.
Great fun. And lots of burritos.
A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius by Stacey Matson
In which I spent 274 pages being embarrassed and ashamed for the main character. I CAN’T HANDLE this kind of STRESS.
I know his mom died recently. I know he’s going through a hard time. But he’s so rude and disrespectful to everyone and he’s constantly talking about what a genius he is. And you think, “Well, gee. Maybe he’ll learn a little humility and respect by the end of the book.” NOPE. I just wanted to shrivel up and crawl under a bush.
What a month for books, eh?
As I mentioned before, I participated in Camp Nanowrimo this month.
AND GUESS WHAT??
It’s a bit of a mess at the moment (as in, the main character’s personality completely changes 20 pages in…), but hey! It’s a first draft.
What’s that? You want to hear about it?
Well, if you insist…
In a nutshell, it’s about a group of boys “employed” by a polite psycho who is easily bored and requires entertainment. The boys sing, dance, play piano, perform scenes from Shakespeare, beat each other up, and participate in “medical research” consisting of experimental surgeries.
As I’m sure you can all guess, I am very kind to my characters in this book.
What else happened in July?
What a question.
- I worked. But that’s not very fun to talk about.
- I listened to the Treasure Planet soundtrack and it is BEAUTIFUL. Just listen to The Launch. James Newton Howard is such a genius, bless him.
- THERE’S ANOTHER FANTASTIC BEASTS TRAILER. Including a flashback to Newt as a CHILD? I am panicking.
- My sister wrote a book and I get to READ it soon. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
- I blogged very little because, if you haven’t noticed, there are time thieves on the loose. Someone please stop them.
Apparently I did nothing else in July.
How was your July? Did you find any new favorite books? Or any that caused you physical pain? Did you participate in Camp Nanowrimo, or have you ever participated in it? Is not James Newton Howard a blessing to us all? Do tell!