Mini-Reviews–in which I have at least one crisis and throw out a cheesecake

Hello, friends!

I’ve been terribly busy lately with Life (booooo), but I somehow managed to scrounge up some mini-reviews (“somehow” meaning I sat on the couch and silently screamed at my laptop and–oh, dear I’ve skipped lunch, haven’t I? *resolves to got eat something as soon as I finish this*).

Apparently January was a very Angsty reading month for me. Prepare yourself for a great deal of incoherent screaming.

The Last Flight of Poxl West by Daniel Torday

My Very Informative Summary: Poxl isn’t actually Eli’s uncle, but he might as well be. When Poxl publishes his autobiography about being a Polish Jewish pilot during WWII, Eli thinks it’s the actual greatest book ever to exist on this planet. But some people…do not agree (myself included).

(It’s been a while since I wrote Very Informative Summaries. I believe I’m a little rusty.)

I Am Here For:

• Dual narrative! The majority of the book is Poxl’s autobiography, but we also get sections from Eli’s perspective in “the present” (which is…the 80s, I believe?)
• SOME people know how to RESEARCH
• I read a lot of WWII books last year, so there kept being things that reminded me of them. Incendiaries falling on St. Paul’s? *tossing my hair* Yes, well I know St. Paul’s won’t burn down because I read Blackout. Mentioning the perspex dome in a bomber? *suddenly sits up straighter* That reminds me of the Enigma Game, which reminds me of JAMIE BEAUFORT-STUART
• (I guess it would be more impressive if I remembered things from actual history, but you know, I’ll take what I can get)
• Cousins! There wasn’t a lot of cousin content, but there was some and it made me happy
• That one part where the grad student asks, “Don’t you think we have enough of these kinds of stories?” Because people do that to authors nowadays and…and… *flips over a table* THESE STORIES MATTER, OKAY??
• Morally grey decisions, idolization of people, being failed by your idols–all those flawed pictures of humanity. (The bit about the acknowledgements was so human it made me laugh and cringe at the same time)
• Simple beautiful sentences like this: She wasn’t much of a dancer and neither was I, but when Glenn Miller came on I took her hand and we did the best we could.

Not So Here For:

• *distant maniacal laughter–or is that screaming?* Oh boy
• WHY
• Who decided what a book needs to be in order to be considered “an adult book” and “contemporary literature”?? Because I HATE IT
• This book checks all the boxes to earn the aforementioned titles. Existentialism. Ends with everyone being depressed (including the reader). Lots of language and Content and UGH
• There was so much Content, guys. So. Much.
• The Brauns. I HATE THEM, UGH
• (And it’s even worse because I don’t know if you’re supposed to, but they are SO DISTURBING AND AWFUL)
• The ending. The ENDING. That is NOT HOW YOU END A BOOK

Conclusion: Yes, there were things I really liked about it, but let’s put it this way: I love cheesecake. I do. But if you dump the contents of an entire trashcan onto a cheesecake, am I going to say, “The trash is unpleasant, but the cheesecake is worth it”? NOPE. The cheesecake has been compromised. GOODBYE CHEESECAKE.

The Guardians Series by William Joyce (Reread)

My Very Informative Summary: In the town of Santoff Claussen there is a girl named Katherine and a bunch of boys named William and also a wizard named Ombric who lives in a very large tree with lots of owls. They all live happily until a threat comes in the form of Fearlings and an ally comes in the form of Nicholas St. North, and everything snowballs until people are journeying to the center of the earth and flying to the moon.

Nailed it.

Clearly, after reading an Adult Book, I needed to read an entire series of Middle Grade to recover.

I Am Here For:

• Mash-up of….oh gosh, what are they called? Not fairy tale characters exactly. Mythical persons? Holiday mascots??
• I don’t know what they’re called, but they’re here. They interact. It’s jolly good fun.
• (In case you still don’t know what I’m talking about: Santa Claus. Sandman. Tooth Fairy. Etc.)
• The ILLUSTRATIONS. William Joyce is a master of whimsical beautiful pencil drawings and I adore them
• North being the Russian sword-wielding pistol-firing Santa Claus we all need
• North essentially being a big brother to Katherine (because SIBLINGS)
• Nightlight. Nightlight is a dear.
• Making daggers out of the tears of the people you love so you can PROTECT THEM. What a jam
• Toothiana having such an angsty backstory and being so intense
• Emphasis on the power of stories
• THE MOONBEAM. I love this little moonbeam
• Pitch’s backstory
• Actually ALL the golden age backstory
• Considering how small these books are, William Joyce packs in so much lore it’s impressive
• The bit about the earthworms in book 5. First class writing.

Not So Here For:

• Bunnymund. I just…don’t like him
• Fixing your problems by chanting “I believe, I believe, I believe”
• So many exclamation marks. Less so in the later books, but in the first book I was like, “Whoa, son.”
• Sometimes a bit juvenile, but eh

Conclusions: It’s not perfect, but I love it in spite of its flaws. It’s delightfully whimsical. I mean, come on, there are warrior librarians who fight using onomatopoeia.

King Rat by China Miéville

My Very Informative Summary: Saul and his father may have had issues, but he certainly didn’t MURDER him. Unfortunately, the police aren’t so sure. When a super sketchy stranger shows up to break Saul out of his jail cell, he does what any sensible person would do: says, “Sure! Why not? And I’ll go with you across the city because this is obviously a great idea.”

This one is…wild.

I Am Here For:

• Pied Piper spin off
• To quote my aunt who gave it to me for Christmas: “It’s sort of a Pied Piper retelling, but…” *indescribable face that says I don’t even know how to describe it or Well anyway, just read it or possibly It’s just a really weird book*
• (It is a really weird book, guys)
• Gallivanting across the roofs of London
• Just…the wildness of it all. King Rat and the whole new side of London Saul has never experienced
• Sketchy people making sketchy decisions
• Tenuous alliances and self-preservation
• The use of music and reworking the pied piper story
• The Piper is SO SCARY, GUYS. I don’t know if I liked it or not, but he was effectively terrifying

Not So Here For:

• …It was really violent. I can only handle so many brutal murders in one day
• There was so much language. I don’t mind some, and I wasn’t scandalized or anything, but it was just obnoxious. Every single character used the F word almost every time they spoke (often more than once) and there are other words in the English language, son
• There were twisted, morally gray-ish characters that were awful but also complex and interesting to a point where you could empathize…until you couldn’t. At a certain point the author went, “Nope, they’re just evil.” It would have been more interesting if we had been able to keep caring about them and grappling with their decisions and flaws
• The ending. It felt unnecessarily depressing.

Conclusion: …I don’t even know. Did I enjoy it? Yes, to a point. It was a wild ride, but it left sort of a bad taste in my mouth. I can read books like this occasionally, but not all the time.

The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson

My Very Informative Summary: Janner, Tink, and Leeli live with their mother and grandfather in a little cottage outside Glipwood township. Their lives are reasonably happy and everything is fine–except it is not fine, because Fangs are occupying the village, you know. In the course of events, things become really not fine. So not fine that a good deal of fighting and hiding and running for their lives is required.

If that’s not a good summary, I don’t know what is.

(And yes, I know it is in fact not a good summary, but–as I said–I don’t know what is. So we’re stuck with this)

I Am Here For:

• PEET THE SOCK MAN
• You don’t understand how much I love this man
• Tink (MY BOY)
• Tink’s Angst (someone hug this child for me)
• Siblings. We support siblings here.
• Musical sibling telepathy because why not??
• Okay, but did I mention how much I love Peet
• PROTECT PROTECT PROTECT
• Quirky footnotes
• Lore and songs
• Artham and Esben. It’s backstory, and there’s not much of it, but every time they are mentioned I want a whole book about them
• It’s really hard to write a book with God in it without making it cheesy and preachy…but for the most part this one pulls it off okay? *tips hat in respect*
• The song of the ancient stones (I mean, it’s awful, but it enables so much angst!)
• Janner in his Excellent Moments (like the end of book two)

Not So Here For:

• HAHAHAHAHAHA
• I don’t know what to do with this series
• I don’t know what to do with Janner. I don’t. He’s flawed, but he’s supposed to be? But he’s more flawed than the author thinks he is? Or the author is trying too hard to show that he’s flawed, but then forgives him for his disproportionate flaws really quickly and easily??? I can’t articulate WHAT the issue is, but it’s an issue
• Like the CHICKEN COOP SCENE
• *flips over a table in rage*
• I’m an older sibling, okay? I get it. Sometimes you get mad at your younger siblings. If a younger sibling messes up really badly and isn’t sorry, you’ll probably be mad at them. But if they are sorry? GENUINELY sorry? If they’re actually in tears telling you they messed up really badly and now they can’t fix it and everything is their fault and they’re terrified and feel awful and they are SORRY? What older sibling in their right mind is going to say “Yeah, it is all your fault” and then look at them with DISGUST and hope that their younger sibling can SEE how completely DISGUSTED they are with them?????
• *slams the door on my way out*
• *shuffles back in because I have more to say*
• Like I said, most of the time having God in there worked. But sometimes it got really preachy with the author’s worldview/opinion on a certain subject shoehorned in there and…it didn’t work for me
• …Why are all the girls/women so Perfect?
• WHY did one of my favorite characters fall off the face of the earth for the second half of the last book??
• The ending
• Because there was a beautiful metaphor happening and then SOMEONE just wrecked it and doomed their own character arc
• Also the writing at the end was just WEIRD. The tone? What was happening??? Someone’s like, “Oh, look, my girlfriend. Let’s kiss,” and??? After what just happened????????

Conclusion: …I don’t know what to do with it. My sister was having an existential crisis after she read it and I was kind of rolling my eyes and now….I get it. I have no idea how to feel about it. I both love and hate it very intensely.

***

There you have it!

I got a bit carried away with the vehement screaming. I hope I haven’t offended anyone too deeply. *skips around in a circle in an attempt at levity after all my sleep-deprived grumpiness*

*skipping turns to sprinting as I bolt out of the room in search of long overdue lunch*

What have you been reading lately? What’s a book you have an intense love-hate relationship with? Do you have a favorite retelling/spin-off? Why do you think Adult Books tend to be so depressing? What’s a book that made you metaphorically shout “Goodbye, Cheesecake”? Do tell!

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